![]() We just have to admit people are complicated, confident, insecure, needy and distant all at once, and part of being in a relationship is accepting all of those attributes. When it comes to relationships, we don’t need to force ourselves into one group or the other. We are all high maintenance, low maintenance and somewhere in-between.ĭepending on the day, circumstance or subject, we all have things we care about and things we don’t, and it’s just a matter of figuring out what’s important and what’s not. I think the reason for this disagreement is due to the fact that the categories themselves lack any depth and, therefore, cannot accurately describe anyone. No one can agree who attracts more love, who achieves more or who is preferred overall. There are supporters of high maintenance women and there are supporters of low maintenance women. It’s oddly fascinating how men and women have taken to these generalizations and clung to them. A quick Google search will bring up hundreds of articles and quizzes about the subject, and there are arguments for both sides. That’s when we allow these classifiers to overtake who we are, and we start creating unhealthy relationship patterns. Or, let’s say say you claim your high maintenance status and repeatedly tell you partner you only want the best, but a small disagreement blows up because you are unable to compromise. It’s when we group them together and identify them as one that we begin to do a disservice to ourselves and our relationships.įor example, you categorize yourself as low maintenance and you partner is constantly telling you how he loves how laid-back you are, so then you hold back your frustration when your partner does something that really makes you angry. On their own, these traits are nothing more than just that: personality traits. Some articles and descriptions take it even further, claiming high maintenance women are selfish and money-obsessed, or low maintenance women have low self-esteem and are pushovers. Two popular examples of low maintenance women are Mila Kunis and Jennifer Lawrence. They drink beer and love sports and are always down for a good prank or a good laugh. They’re easy to please and never ask for too much (or anything). Low maintenance women are described as laid-back, chill and easygoing. Two popular examples of high maintenance women are Kim Kardashian and Gwyneth Paltrow. They’re supposed to be bossy and dramatic and are used to having things their way. They are expected to care about their looks and spend more money on clothes and makeup. High maintenance women are described as needy, demanding and challenging. These classifications take on an unhealthy tone when we assign descriptors to them. The terms seem fairly harmless when you simply look at their definitions: High maintenance means “needing a lot of work to keep in good condition ” low maintenance means “requiring little work to keep in good condition.” It's a debate women can't win, no matter which side you choose to support. ![]() This exchange has propelled hundreds of articles, comparisons and debates over the high maintenance woman versus the low maintenance woman for two decades. You will find the ideas of high maintenance and low maintenance all over our culture. Most notably it was referred to in the classic film, "When Harry Met Sally." The character Harry, played by Billy Crystal, tells Sally, played by Meg Ryan, "There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance." With so much growth and acceptance, it’s hard to believe the one thing that has not changed is the outdated method of categorizing women as high maintenance and low maintenance. The landscape of the dating world and the way we connect, date and fall in love have never been more diverse. We can call off engagements, have second or third marriages, renew our vowels or even get married for a reality TV show. You can meet your life partner in your freshman year homeroom, at a college frat party, in a board meeting, online, through a mobile app, a blind date or standing in line at Starbucks. ![]() We have open relationships, friends with benefits, online relationships, long-distance relationships, civil unions, domestic partnerships and the list goes on. We live in a world full of different kinds of relationships.
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